ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer. BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain. BOY SCOUT: A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like a child. CONSULTANT: Someone who uses your wife's watch, tells you the time, and then charges you for it. DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you eager to start the journey. ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which hepredicted yesterday didn't happen today. FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Jene sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them.. PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience. PROGRAMMER: Someone who fixes a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room. STATISTICIAN: Someone who is good with numbers but lacks thepersonality to be an engineer.