St. Peter: You have to answer three questions before I can let you in.
Jamaican: No problem, man.
St. Peter: Which two days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
Jamaican: Today and tomorrow
St. Peter: Well, that wasn't really the answer I was looking for, but I'll give you the second question. How many seconds are there in a year?
Jamaican: Twelve
St. Peter: How did you arrive at that number?
Jamaican: Easy... 2nd of January, 2nd of Feb, 2nd of March, 2nd of. By now St. Peter is getting exasperated with this fool-fool Jamaican.
St. Peter: Final question now. What is the name of our Lord and Saviour?
Jamaican: Andy.
St. Peter: Andy? Andy??!! Where did you learn that?
Jamaican: Inna church. Every time mi guh a church mi hear dem sing sey: "Andy walk with me, Andy talk with me, Andy tell me I am his own... "